


Whatever Your Wizard Desires

by MotleyMoose



Category: Hello From the Magic Tavern (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Obscenely graphic scenes of food enjoyment, Sorry Not Sorry, The Forests of Foon, but just from the overly sensual nature of it all, like seriously, not from cheese because it lacks actual cheese, this is the cheesiest, you may get ill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:15:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotleyMoose/pseuds/MotleyMoose
Summary: Usidore and Chunt take a breather after a long day of foraging.





	Whatever Your Wizard Desires

It had been a long, hot day in the forests of Foon for Usidore and Chunt. They had been wandering the winding paths between the trees since very early in the morning, and the shade of a particularly droopy willow caught the attention of the stately wizard. Gesturing grandly with his walking stick, Usidore pointed it out to Chunt. “Come, dear friend. Let us take a rest underneath yonder willow and savor in our new-found delights.” He nudged his badger pal gently with the head of his broad hardwood staff, quivering as he anticipated Chunt’s excitement when he would reveal his wonderous sacks full of nuts to him. Oh, the delight he could imagine on Chunt’s face sent ripples of pleasure through him, causing him to lose his senses momentarily. He came back to himself suddenly, lying prone underneath the willow, just as Chunt was delicately rummaging around in the small sack he carried at his waist.

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” Usidore asked in a quavering voice as he grasped his stiff rod with a firm hand, using it to pull himself fully erect. He felt a sharp spasm of need as he eyed his shapeshifting companion.

Chunt glanced up at the Devourer of Chaos as he continued to feel around inside the coin purse. “I found something I thought you might enjoy, but I seem to be having some trouble... finding them…” Trailing off, he sighed deeply as he upended the small pouch into his lap. Several small objects tumbled out, but only two seemed to captivate Usidore.

“I have never seen a more scrumptious pair of nuts in all my days” Usidore growled, his long, flowing gray beard cascading carelessly over his left shoulder as he leaned in for a closer look at Chunt’s lap. An acute sense of desire surged through him as he gazed longingly at Chunt’s prized possessions.

Chunt puffed out his chest proudly as he loving caressed one of the small dark orbs nestled between his furry thighs with a gentle claw. “I know, right?” he chuckled, twitching his broad snout in excitement. Then, in a more serious tone, he whispered lowly, “W-would you like to hold them?” He watched his wizard friend’s face keenly, a small smile playing at his badger lips.

Usidore looked down at the Badger King, startled. Even in his wildest, most fevered dreams, he never thought Chunt would trust him enough to handle something so dear to him. Swallowing hard, Usidore kneeled upon the ground and reached a tentative hand out, gently cupping Chunt’s nuts in his clever, dextrous hands. He carefully prodded them with his fingertips, studying their every dip and curve, marvelling in the soft, smooth texture of his friend’s prizes. His eyes darted back up to Chunt’s, a question halfway formed on his lips. “May… may I…?”

Urging him on with a soft nod and a crooked smile, Chunt shifted slightly. Usidore eagerly obliged, his head dipping low as he brought his lips to graze the tiny objects, each no bigger than the end of his thumb. Tenderly, he explored the little brown nuts with feathery strokes of his tongue, completely fascinated with their soft roundness. 

Groaning faintly, Chunt looked beseechingly at Usidore. “Please… just…. Stop teasing them.”

Always accommodating, Usidore gently sucked the badger’s acorns into his needy mouth, revelling in their warm smoothness. His eyes rolled back into his head as he moaned, the physical pleasure of the nuts on his tongue causing him to transcend to almost unbearable heights. Caught in a vortex of heady tastes and sensations, Usidore sighed as he moved the small orbs around in his mouth. Chunt arched a knowing eyebrow, and now with his body fully trembling in desire, Usidore swirled the nuts once more in his mouth before ferociously crunching them in his teeth.

A deep sense of completion washed over the wizard as he savored the euphoric aftermath of the delicious acorns. Wholly satiated, Usidore crumpled wearily next to Chunt, glorious beard floating out around him like a very glossy, feather-riddled necklace.

“Where did you find such magnificent treenuts?” Usidore asked, picking at his teeth with a sparrow’s leg bone.

Chunt gestured noncommittally over his shoulder at the dense undergrowth. “There was an enchanted well guarded by a three-headed snake. I simply had sex with it in exchange for the acorns.” He scratched under his arm with a claw before continuing, “And then I came upon a badger den. Bingbangboom, I’m back, behbeyyy!”

Just then, Arnie puffed into view, his chest heaving with exertion as he trundled up the path towards his two best buds. “Hey, guys,” he wheezed before plopping down next to Chunt. “What’s up?”

“Oh, just finishing up our nut hunt,” Chunt replied, giving Usidore a sly smirk.

Totally oblivious, Arnie bobbed his head. “So, uh… do you have any nuts that I can have? That walk sure took it out of me.”

Usidore produced his gorgeous nut sacks, which were bursting at the seams with a wide variety of the desired snack. He passed them to his comrades before kicking back once more. “Anything for you, Arnold.”

**Author's Note:**

> Requested on Tumblr by @thegodoftheturtles : okay real talk would you write sensual Chunt and Usidore picking up nuts from the ground
> 
> It kinda went a completely different direction, but it *is* ridiculously sensual. And huzzah on you for suffering through it to the end. You're the real hero in my books.


End file.
